Scars
By Amelia Chameleon
07/16/2003
©Mental Dimensions Humor Ezine
Author retains copyright
Behind every scar is a story to be told, behind each story is a feeling to be felt, and behind each feeling is a memory; a memory in which you try to keep buried deep within. A scar is like a window in which you can look through and see and feel memories, good and bad, that have been etched into your brain. Then, there are those scars that no one can see, the ones that eat away at you, stealing what little energy, motivation, or feelings of worthiness you might have, leaving you to feel hopeless, abandoned, and drained of life. The scars grow like ropes within your body, wrapping themselves around your organs, steeling your life and strangling you. For some people, for every scar they have on the inside there is also one on the outside that tells a different story. For almost every scar I had on the inside I would burn myself on the outside because I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling, not the actual feeling of my flesh burning, but the feeling of something else besides the demons that were inside my mind. For a short time I would forget about the sadness, loneliness and despair I was feeling, and all I would feel is physical pain, which I could control, unlike the mental pain. At the time of these self-masochistic acts upon myself, I did not know why I enjoyed this, but years and scars later I figured out why. After several years of self-masochism I stopped. Now my years of physical trauma, self-inflicted or not, have caught up with me and I can no longer turn on or off the physical pain I feel. Thus, reinforcing my beliefs of "what goes around comes around", "do onto others as you would want one to do onto you", and "what does not kill you will only make you stronger."