Steamy Wisdom Served with a Side of Salt
By Andy Alt / Mental Dimensions
09/02/2006

Not a day goes by when I don't think a thought. I have something on my mind -- I think it's mold. I promise to avoid any rough cleaning agents, but I hope my thoughts are sufficiently abrasive to scrape it away.

Speaking of mold, it's green I'm told, as green as the grass on my front lawn. It's a pretty lawn, but in need of rain, to wash away the stain. The sunlight shines beautifully upon the grass, as it desperately prays for the caress of an early morning dew.

Mountain dew sits upon a mountain, but transforms to steam as the mountain realizes it's not a mountain, but a live volcano. It erupts, and lava sears away the glorious taste and texture of a cold mountain dew. Only sugar remains, and ponders its lonely existence atop that hot and steamy volcano.

Volcanoes are great if you're looking for land and currently drowning in an ocean. If you find yourself drowning in an ocean, it's likely you'll not be needing much financial advice. "Beware of sharks and lack of oxygen" is the only warning you'd receive from my lips. I'd rather not be present to give you advice, however, and I'd feel most fortunate to have a boat or other floatation device if I were on a severely large body of water.

Oceans have the distinguished reputation of being very wet and salty. This environment rarely creates a good opportunity to plant or grow a tree. If you're thinking of not planting trees in the ocean, however, please reconsider: a person drowning in an ocean would be able to save himself by climbing to the top, and eating leaves until the Titanic arrives, which may be never.

During the interim, there's always the hope that a shark will devour him, which allows an endangered species to expand and thrive. Once all species of sharks are no longer endangered, people who have always dreamed of owning a sea food restaurant will finally see their vision realized -- especially if their vision showed an endangered species of shark on the menu, and the would-be owners were reluctantly shy about committing an illegal act.