Advancing Technology Through Mice
by Andy Alt
©Mental Dimensions Humor Ezine
.:Technology Humor:.
24 Jan 2006
It's become very clear that when technology advances, so do mouse buttons. For instance, a long time ago, there were mice with only one button. Along came a second button to make our life easier with the ability to right click. A short time later, a third button was found to be necessary. After a while, the wheel was invented.
At the current rate of progression, I'm quite sure that there will soon be more mouse buttons and more wheels. As to what they will do, I remain uncertain on that point. I was arguing with a friend the other day about the issue of another button. He believes that with a fourth mouse button, one will be able to update their computer software. I felt that technology has advanced to the point where it will be a much more impressive technological wonder than simply updating software. I believe that clicking a fourth button will either cause a pizza to be delivered to one's door, or pop up a dialog box which states how many light bulbs to buy next time one goes shopping.
After the fourth button comes into existence, I foresee more wheels being added. Honestly, I don't see the need for ever having more than four wheels. After the four button/four mouse wheel is accepted into society, Technology must further advance; as it always has and always will. The mouse will need to have more capacity -- the wheels will become bigger, and inevitably the buttons will become doors. People will be able to ride in them to visit neighbors and family members to engage in conversation. Once this has happened, a communication device will be installed into the mice -- or maybe in the home, close to the mouse. The communication device will allow people to call ahead before a visit, or to notify people if their mice break down and can't visit them at the appointed time.
Benefits must always accompany new technology, else there is really no point. Benefits of this improved mouse would include being able to ride in the mouse to the store so one can view an item firsthand before purchasing it. Once the item is viewed and the consumer is satisfied it will fulfill his or her needs, that person can immediately purchase it and bring it home with them.
Another benefit to having this improved mouse is that people will be able to talk to each other face to face. Since people were born with mouths and ears, it's important to keep them exercised and practice verbal communication more frequently. Person-to-person communication is important since humanity consists primarily of about six billion persons.
I predict that the evolution of mice in our world will play an integral facet in the evolution of technology and humankind. Mice will be an essential ingredient in the development of the human race and also will change how the world communicates, and how business is performed. There will be a radical jump in culture world-wide because most misunderstanding will immediately be made clear through instantaneous verbal and visual communication, there will be an increased feeling that we all live on the same planet, and families will feel that they're all related to each other.
Once mice have developed, changing their name might be in order. Perhaps they will be called cars -- an acronym which stands for cats ate rat salad.