Alien Abduction and Representing the Human Race
by Andy Alt
©Mental Dimensions Humor Ezine
.:Controversy Humor:.
17 Jan 2006

Needless worry doesn't concern me. It's aliens abducting humans at random that worries me. I have no real problem with being abducted by aliens; my main concern is that they'll want me to be a representative for the human race. I suppose a lot of humans lay awake at night worrying about the same thing, praying, "God, I hope Andy Alkaline is never abducted at random and asked to represent the human race on our behalf." Were I ever to be abducted by aliens -- evil or otherwise -- I would probably just refer them to www.mentaldimensions.com. From there, they could make an informed decision about the fate of mankind using the knowledge of humanity acquired through reading my web site.

I have a feeling that some people's chief fear about being abducted by aliens must stem from a fear of heights. I agree that having acrophobia in an alien spaceship would cause most anyone to sink into a panic attack, regardless of how nice the view is. I'll admit I don't know much about acrophobia. I thought once that I suffered from this malady; it turned out I had a fear of open places, not high places. It's only by coincidence that I didn't realize this much sooner. You see, every time I ventured out, my destination just happened to be a high place. When I discovered I was afraid in every place I was, I realized I was cured of my acrophobia, and raced back to the safety of my home.

I just hope that if I'm ever abducted by aliens that I'll be able to convince them to conduct their interrogation and experiments on me here, rather than in their spaceship.


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