Emotions are as Real as Fantasies
by Andy Alkaline
©Mental Dimensions Humor Ezine
.:Depression Humor:.
17 Jan 2006
As the sands of happiness fall through my hands, washed away in a lake of sadness, I can't help but think: The sands of happiness would be much easier to retrieve if the lake were frozen this time of year.
As my sanity dissipates upon the wind, I can't help but wonder, It's too bad it couldn't have happened on a calm day, and not when winds are gusting up to 38 miles per hour.
Emotions are merely illusions, giving a smokescreen to logic and rational thought. I can't help but contemplate if it's the same smokescreen that The Joker used to evade capture by Batman.
Batman may never know true happiness, but he's familiar with the satisfaction which comes with redemption of his soul, lost as a child. I can't help but try to figure out why I can't find the Bat Cave on MapQuest.
It slowly dawns on me that the Bat Cave doesn't exist, and therefore can't be found except in other people's fantasies. If the Bat Cave can be found in a fantasy, maybe happiness can also be found.
Crushed of hope, I believe that we as a species are rather insensitive to be crushing aluminum cans. Aluminum cans once had a dream, and you'd best believe me when I tell you that their dream was not to be sucked dry of their liquids and finally crushed out of existence with extreme prejudice. No longer seeing life through the eyes of a child, I've lost any hope for aluminum cans. The eyes of a child are not always meant to see the senseless destruction of aluminum cans. If a child's eye sees destruction too early in life, the child will have a glimpse into oblivion. Oblivion is a lonely place for an aluminum can to spend eternity. There is little hope then, for the second eye of a child, once their first eye has wandered upon Medusa, and turned to stone.
Depression and sadness are as real and unreal as happiness and joy. Emotions are nature's convenient and inconvenient cloud which passes by in the sky of life. Some days that same cloud opens to allow sunlight through, then other days closes its grip and squeezes so tightly that no good feelings can survive.
Frigid is that cloud, and also quite warm. The combination can cause sickness and colds, so I suggest dressing appropriately, and carry an umbrella to prevent your heart from achieving wetness of the mind. If it's a dry day, and all the liquids have left your heart for a lake of sadness to meet the sands of happiness, remember that a heart can only be recycled by hot dog manufacturers. If a hole is punched through your umbrella, allow your sanity to fall through so it can mix with the smokescreen that is emotion. When all these forces have combined together, conjure up a fantasy that's real, and throw your happiness into that dream. If you suddenly wake up, hit the snooze button, or throw your alarm clock against a far wall until it crashes into a cloud. If the cloud turns red, let the mist fall upon a river of blood leading into your heart. Once your heart has regained consciousness, invite it to join in your fantasy.