Mental Dimensions Convention
Andy Alkaline
©Mental Dimensions Humor Ezine
.:Instability Humor:.
11/14/2005

There will soon be the first annual Mental Dimensions Convention. lt will be held in my bathroom, but everyone will have to bring something to sit on; my bathroom is not well-furnished, and seating is limited. Be forewarned, however, that if someone yells at you, "Watch out for that comet!" rest assured they are not attempting to shield you from the destruction of the earth, but merely the cleaning agent I use for my bathtub.

If anyone is dissatisfied with the accommodations, then I am of an open mind to instead having a social in the bathroom of a tavern, hotel, casino, McDonalds, or some other high-class public establishment where only industrial-strength cleaners are used.

I have two outlets in my bathroom if anybody brings their notebook and needs a charge. We can also create an amplification by playing naked-tub-of-war in the bathtub holding a live wire directly connected to a transformer outside my window. If more outlets are required, I've drilled a hole in the wall which leads to my neighbor's bathroom, where there are two more outlets freely available. In the event more space is needed for human occupancy or more seating, there will be a sledgehammer at the entrance to make the small hole a bit larger. Cheap, recycled earplugs will also be optional for any screaming one might encounter while taking advantage of the small hole to peer, plug, or promote it's radius and diametric proportions.

You'll be able to find an ample supply of various drugs and medications within the medicine cabinets. There are two cabinets; I had the sink removed and a second cabinet installed to house them. The former holds uncontrolled drugs, and the latter houses controlled substances. Please don't abuse the privilege -- or whatever else you might find -- and remember what your mother and/or father taught you about sharing the wealth. If you happen upon an item in powder or liquid form, it is likely a cleaner; please treat it as such and clean something -- or replace it to a location far in the back and use it once a month or in spring.


Comments