"I'm going fishing"
Means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid
and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
swim by in complete safety"
"It's a guy thing"
Means..."There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it
logical".
"Can I help with dinner?"
Means..."Why isn't dinner already on the table?"
'Uh huh", "Sure honey,"
or "Yes dear".
Means...Absolutely nothing; it is a conditioned response.
"It would take too long to
explain"
Means..."I have no idea how it works".
"We're going to be late"
Means..."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like
a maniac".
"Take a break honey, you're working
too hard".
Means..."I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner".
"That's interesting dear".
Means..."Are you still talking?"
"It's a really good movie".
Means..."It's got guns, knives and fast cars.
*That's women's work".
Means..."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless".
"You know how bad my memory
is".
Means..."I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the
address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
identification numbers of every car I've
ever owned, but I forgot your birthday".
"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself,
it's no big deal".
Means..."I have actually severed a limb, but will
bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt".
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what
I'm doing".
Means..."And I sure hope I think of some pretty
soon".
"I can't find it".
Means..."It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
so I'm completely clueless".
"What did I do this time?"
Means..."What did you catch me at?"
"I heard you".
Means..."I haven't the foggiest clue what you just
said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so
that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"You know I could never love anyone
else".
Means..."I am used to the way you yell at me, and
realize it could be worse".
"You look terrific".
Means..."Oh please don't try on one more outfit. I'm
starving!"
"I'm not lost. I know exactly where
we are".
Means..."No one will ever see us alive again".
"We share the housework".
Means..."I make the messes, she cleans them up".